Frank J. has a man crush on Fred Thompson. If you're going to have a man-crush who better to have it on.

Here, Frank J. lies about what's in Fred Thompson's new memoir about growing up in Tennessee.

Frank J. lies include:

* Young Fred Thompson was always getting in trouble for sneaking up and tackling grizzly bears, and it got to the point that they could never maul anyone in peace.

* Young Fred Thompson’s elementary school science project nearly destroyed the sun.

* Young Fred Thompson’s first use of common sense politics was when he chased Democrats out of town with a shotgun.

And there are many more. These lies prove one thing: Fred Thompson should have hired Frank J. to be his ghost writer.